“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” -Will Rogers

I was going to pay my property taxes the other day and I could not find the stupid second half of the property tax bill. As you know, property tax bills usually come as a binary sort of thing….you make one payment for around half the total, and six months later you make the other half. Then, six months after that, .gov comes back and starts the whole thuggish cycle over again.

So, I was looking and looking and looking…no success. Finally I said ‘screw it’ and went online to look up how much to send to the weasels at the county courthouse. “PAID IN FULL”….huh….and then I remembered: I did well enough last year that I decided to pay the entire tax bill at once. Yay me.

I started wondering – if a period of great economic upheaval occurs..inflation, high unemployment, wage and price controls, shortages, etc…gov is still gonna demand their pound of flesh. And when you are jobless, foodless, and cashless is the worst time to lose your house to some local .gov that insists it get paid even when it’s doing nothing but serving (and saving) itself.

Obviously, the thing to do would be to have enough money in he bank to pay the property taxes for a couple years. But here’s the problem with that…if the economy craps the bed enough that you’re without a job, hungry, and subject to the ravages of inflation, that money in the safe isn’t going to keep pace with your taxes which the .gov will conveniently adjust for inflation. And suddenly that stack of $100 bills in the safe that you thought would cover your property taxes won’t even buy you a new pair of shoes (assuming the stores still have shoes.) So what’s a savvy survivalist to do? Well, I suppose you can hope that in such a crisis things will be chaotic enough that property tax collection will be the last thing on .gov’s mind as it valiantly throws beleaguered police and National Guardsman into the fray of rioters, looters, demonstrators, criminals, and anarchists. Mmmm maybe. Or I can try to hedge my bets and have something to sell for the inflated currency necessary to pay the taxes.

And then I thought about the gold. Hmmm. I should have thought of this before. Keep a couple years of property taxes handy in gold. That way if inflation heads to the moon, it’ll take gold with it. In other words, two ounces of gold  pays my property taxes now, and in Weimar-town two ounces of gold still pays my taxes. (Assuming that the tax rate remains the same. Obviously in a crisis .gov is going to raise taxes, so perhaps a little extra gold just in case.)

The more I think about this, the more I like the idea.