I am amused. And slightly jealous.
Tag Archives: humour
Thought for the day
Thought for the day
Received from someone in email:
To quote DeNiro in ‘The Untouchables’…”Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because its funny and we laugh because its true.”
I’m feeling a bit under the weather today so posting might be thin for the next day or two. Talk amongst yourselves.
Monkey on my back
I need to get this gun buying thing under control. Or I need a small concrete bunker hidden in the woods. Who am I kidding? I’ve always needed that.
Years ago, my ideal was to have enough guns on hand to equip at least five other people with common arms…same rifles, same shotguns, same pistols, etc. It seems I can field a larger fire team now. Funny thing is, I’ve more guns than friends who can use them.
Ah well…they’ll always hold their value. I almost never buy guns unless theyre a good deal, and when people need a gun they’re pretty much not gonna bark about the price. Silver dropped, DJI got cut at the knees, oil crapped the bed…. but guns and ammo prices stayed the same or went up. Interesting, that.
Wayback Machine: Ruger/Smith ad flamewar
I was talking to someone about Ruger revolvers today and it reminded me of one of the more direct in-your-face advertising tit-for-tats that Ruger and Smith and Wesson have back in the late 80’s/early90’s. Ruger had some print ads out stating that their guns were more stout that the Smiths and you could tell this immediately because the Rugers were thicker, beefier guns.
S&W didn’t take this laying down and came up with an awesome drop-the-mic without using Ruger by name, but those grips left no doubt who the ad was pointed at.
Smith goes on to call out the ‘bulkier’ competitor revolvers and their porous castings. Honestly, I hadn’t seen a flamewar between two bigtime gunmakers like this since then.
And, you can really tell how old this ad is by the fact that it’s two big name manufacturers defending revolvers.
Ah, those were the days.
We laugh because its funny, we laugh because its true
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells, “DRINKS FOR EVERYONE! WHO’S PAYING?”
Really, sums it all up right there.
The paper chase
Toilet humour is always good for a blog post. Today’s episode comes from Friend Of The Blog ™, Tam, over at View From The Porch where she recounts an episode of what happens when natures call is delayed by overpackaged designer toilet paper.
Here’s the money shot: “Just before I had to declare an emergency and kiss my socks goodbye…..”
Hysterical.
RTWT.
Meanwhile, everyone knows that women go through toilet paper like Germans through Poland. It’s exponential. Two women do not use twice as much TP as one. There’s a logarithmic (bodily) function somewhere in there.
I bring it up because toilet paper is one of those semi-serious things we survivalists rally around. Right after ‘who has the most guns’ and ‘how much ammo is enough’ comes the ‘how much toilet paper do you store’. I have the space to store a goodly amount, so I keep about 200 rolls on hand. That should cover me for a good while unless I develop a sudden interest in Mexican food or drink a Giardia cocktail.
Toilet paper is one of those things that is usually briefly touched on in survivalist fiction but almost never addressed in movies or TV. I’ve seen exactly one toilet paper reference in eight years of The Walking Dead. (Specifically, the episode where Bob The Alkie is introduced. He’s sitting on top of a truck trailer with a roll of TP sitting next to him. The implication being that he took a dump on the undead below him.)
Like .22 ammo, there’s just really no just-as-ggod-as substitutes. Leaves, phonebooks, small furry animals, paper towels, and anything else semi-disposable just don’t seem to do the trick.
I suppose you could go the way of the Third Worlders and make sure to use one specific hand for eating and the other for…….. but I didnt make these efforts and sacrifices so I can live like a Third Worlder.
My experience has been that toilet paper has only three natural enemies – women, mice, and moisture. Storing it in a waterproof container handles the moisture, storing it off the ground usually keeps themice from nesting in it, and buying the discount brands usually keeps the Gyno-Americans out of it.
For travel, whether planned or unplanned, the usual thing is to just grab a roll, squash it flat, and shove it in a ziploc bag. That has a certain utilitarian quality is simple and effective. Turns out there are special ‘travel packs’ of toilet paper and you really can’t underestimate their utility. I usually just throw a couple of those pocket packs of Kleenex in my bag and use those if necessary…its convenient, cheap, multipurpose, and available.
Back in the old days, MRE’s used to give you actual toilet paper and it was worth saving the extras from your MRE pack for later use since it was packaged pretty well. Modern MRE’s give you these little blue individual squares that I cannot fathom were ordered by anyone who has ever had to take a dump out in the field.
Moral of the story? Well, first off, toilet paper is cheap and a definite nice-to-have… dont put a dozen rolls in the hallway closet and think you’re done. Go to CostCo and get a couple of the big 30-packs. Second, keep a half dozen in the bathroom. Without getting too..rude…go sit yourself on the toilet and figure out what your maximum reach is from there. Keep the a half dozen rolls within that reach. No brainer. And, finally, if you’re going through any crisis that requires you to whittle down your stock of end-of-the-world TP you’re also in a crisis where personal hygiene just took a boost in importance – so make damn sure to wash your hands and use hand sanitizer afterwards. Your stash of TP goes a lot further when you don’t have to deal with cholera and dysentery.
