$1.6 billion dollars is a lot of money. In fact, it is more than the gross domestic product of a dozen different countries. (To be fair, those countries are mostly small island nations that have virtually no real economy outside of tourism and offshore banking.)
The fact that I’m still here typing should tell you how well my foray into PowerBall-stoked billionaireism went. But..it’s so delightfully decadent to imagine what you could do with that kind of money. According to my very bad public school math, taking the lump sum would have dropped me to around $800m. Then, after I generously buy Uncle Sam a couple jet fighters with the ~40% tax hit, I’m down to around $560m. Now it becomes interesting. Assuming some investments that yield a mere 5%, I could, in theory, get $28m/year just in interest without touching the principal. That, my friends, comes down to $2.3m every month to simply screw around with. Or, if you really want to go nuts, thats about $76,000 to spend every day. Do better than 5% and, naturally, you have more to piss away….and never touch the principal.
First thing: new phone number.
After that, it’s gifts for those I love. Nothing fancy. Everyone gets their house paid off.
Then it’s time to indulge fantasies. I’d imagine that when you order enough of a particular gun the gun companies are more than happy to cater to your bizarre needs. As a result, the guys at Ruger, PTR, Smith & Wesson, and Stag Arms, are going to be busy for a while. Federal can just unhook the trailers in my yard..I’ll take it from there. The ammo can go in the garage next to my new armored vehicle collection. Try not ding my new helicopter.
After that, it’s time to go shopping for real estate. Perhaps a small county in South Dakota or Utah. Something on the order of several square miles. Remember that scene in Quigley Down Under when, after days of traveling by wagon, Quigley asks “When are we getting to Marston’s ranch?” and the hand replies “We’ve been on his land for the last three days.” Yeah, it’d be like that.
And then I quietly retire to my lair to enjoy my enormous gun collection, fabulous shooting range, amazingly secure house, and other toys. When I’m not busy manipulating politicians with briefcases of ‘campaign contributions’, or making the lives of people who have wronged me miserable, I’ll spread a little joy to the world…repair a few decrepit schools, sponsor some scholarships, finance some animal shelters, build a few public shooting ranges, that sort of thing.
Perhaps buy a small gun company. Or start one from scratch using the latest and greatest manufacturing technology. Build my own company town with factory, R&D center, employee housing, etc.
You can have a lot of fun, do a lot of good, and screw over a lot of people, on $76 grand a day. A permanent suite..heck, an entire top floor…at some Las Vegas high-end hotel would be nice.
Alas….fun to fantasize but the reality is with 1:292,000,00 odds it’s just daydreaming. But, it’s those happy little vacations from reality that make life bearable, eh?
You’ve covered all the toys and the material geegaws, but you’ve completely glossed over what’s really important.
With that kind of windfall, you’ll need the one truly indispensable item every billionaire adventurer playboy can’t live without.
That’s right: the Alfred to your Bruce Wayne, the Woodhouse to your Sterling Archer.
Would you prefer my resume in .pdf or .doc format?
Hmmm. Woodhouse or Alfred. That’s tough. I’ll say neither and go with Moira the Maid from ‘American Horror Story’.
I -love- that chick!
Young ghost Moira good. Old ghost Moira bad.
We had in mind an M400 – you can load the vehicle of choice, palletized toys, etc. Fly off to whichever house/state/country we had in mind for that week. Alas, it was not to be.
Just bear in mind, that at 5% return/yr, you are only losing value at about half speed. Inflation is currently running around 8-10%/yr, here in the USA.
I’d be looking at buying Colt, but only if it can be moved to a different state, without the union tagging along.
Unfortunately, their holding company has so screwed them financially, that they are not currently marketable. Way too much debt involved.
Samuel Colt apparently instituted the tradition that Colt management was to always be as incompetent as possible. It’s amazing how a company’s management culture can be kept viable seemingly forever, like a zombie.
They lost money during WW2. That should be it’s epitaph.
As long as the actual winner(s) aren’t one or more octogenarian spinsters with 87 cats who leave the entire fortune to their pets, I’ll be happy.
Just once I’d like to see a struggling family of 8 get the win, or some 20-something guy who’s going to get all jiggy with the windfall, and manage to live long enough to have an outrageously wonderful fairytale life, not to explode his heart snorting coke off hookers’ asses six months in.
Personally, I’d buy an entire rustbelt township. Move in like-minded individuals, and deputize the entire town, so they could all buy the LEO-only specials.
Then I’d see what the Pentagon was offering to communities for $1@.
A squadron of “obsolete” Cobra gunships (ostensibly for catching speeders and drug patrol overflights) could come in seriously handy the next time things went pear-shaped. The black&white paint scheme could be done in watercolor, over the original OD green.
If tribe and community is the prep name of the game, why not own one?
Then re-name the main drag Reagan Avenue, eliminate the welfare state at the local level, hire Joe Arpaio to consult on jail reform, and institute a policy of strict constitutionalism.
The idea could maybe even catch on, and spread outward.
What shocks me is what you can’t do with that kind of money. Build a new firearms factory from scratch? Not enough. Bring out a new light aircraft from a clean sheet of paper, with a new engine, build, test and certify it for sale? Not enough. What about an ammo plant, going from raw elements to finished ammo? Not enough. Buy a President? Definitely not enough.
Good thing I didn’t win! I wouldn’t be happy.
Well we we 100% on the Powerball – didn’t hit a single number! Guess I’ll stick around a little longer….
Reference your comment at another place. I suspect you know who this is. For an actual relationship I agree non gun friendly girls would be a no go for me. However for Mrs Friday night I prefer not to artificially limit my options. Sufficiently attractive and willing is good enough for business, no need to ask about her gun stance or politics or whatever. Business has been good.
Well, in that case, if they’re just a temproary ‘flavor of the day’….who cares what they think? “Yes, thats a gun in my pockket AND Im glad to see you.”
Agreed, I carry but in a very discrete way. The LCP is a great tool for that. It truly vanishes even in a pair of jeans. Open carrying a G19 like a boss not so much.
Plus side of getting in an actual relationship #11- being more consistently armed with a Glock.
CZ:
There was a guy who got rich supplying food (and gear?) to the 49’rs goldrush. He figured at one point he could travel the entire length of CA and never leave his own properties.
I doubt that sort of ownership is still possible, since the .govs decided they were allowed to tax land. IIRC, that’s not constitutional.
Check out the cattle barrons of the 1800’s one had land holdings from the gulf of Mexico up into Canada. they could move their cattle from the gulf to Calgary without leaveing their land. I think the last of this ranch was sold off in the 70’s in S.D. and Wyo.
now to get completely off trak, check out Double Dog Studios, Its a a survival app for the us army. US Meal Kit has a neat web site for MRE’s but it also has other survival app links.
An up armored humvee and the C-130 to fly it were on my list. No need to rent a car when you travel.
Then there was the huge hole in the backyard, literally a man cave, with attached storage rooms. A larger fence around the place, the kind that says “go away” and the entire place running solar and wind power.
But I guess I’ll just keep going, one ammo can at a time.