Food and edged instruments | Notes From The Bunker

Originally published at Notes From The Bunker. You can comment here or there.

:::carefully lights the candles and incense burner:::

:::consults the oracle [teh interwebtubes] and sees the signs look favorable:::

:::begins Gregorian chanting:::

OhBigBrownTruckOfHappinessArriveTodayyyyyyy……..

And…it works! What sort of goodies has pre-apocalypse consumer America deposited on my doorstep today? Well, lets take a look.

First up, a nice little collection of #2 cans of goodies from Augason Farms. Before I buy anything in a #10 can I try to get it in a smaller serving so I can see if it’s something I’m going to enjoy or did I just waste ten bucks on wallpaper paste? Sure, after the meteors hit and we’re living in Lucifers Hammer country, what with the murdering cannibal armies and all, we’ll be happy to eat wallpaper paste. But why if you don’t have to? Franklin said that hunger never met bad bread, but I’m sure hunger would prefer awesome bread if it had a choice. I’f I’m eating out of food storage I plan on eating more than just rice-n-beans (which I actually don’t like), or whole-wheat-everything. Man does not live on grains and legumes alone. Third World diets are for Third Worlders. I live in a country where I can make a world-class gourmet meal using nothing but a credit card and a cel phone…why wouldnt you take advantage of that? What did we get this time? Glad you asked:

Dehydrated Diced Red & Green Bell Peppers
Freeze Dried Banana Yogurt Bites
Freeze Dried Pineapple Chunks
Freeze Dried Sliced Strawberries
Freeze Dried Strawberry Yogurt Bites
Spiff-E-Whip Dessert Topping
Chicken Bouillon

Interesting choices, no? I’m sure the more drug-centric will make jokes about ‘Spiff-E-Whip’. Whatever. Ever go and do the MRE gourmet routine using the MRE components? There’s something about mixing the non-dairy creamer and the hot chocolate powder to make your own field-expedient chocolate mousse. I admire that kind of culinary creativity so I figured an instant ‘non-dairy desert topping’ would be a good base to mix with, say, orange drink powder or similar to achieve mousse-like results. Yes, the apocalypse is gong to feature shortbread with frosting…my end-of-the-world is not for diabetics and paleo freaks. After a long post-apocalyptic day of hanging quislings from lamposts, clearing roadblocks, and cheerfully relocating the contents of the local National Guard armory who wouldn’t want to relax with luxury food?

The fruits and ‘yogurt bites’ are mostly for grabbing a couple fistfuls, shoving them in a ziploc bag, and putting them in my cargo pockets for later consumption during those slow times as we repel looters and man checkpoints.

I’ll have some write-ups on these and some of the other Augason’s products down the line.

Next up, a box ‘o knives. The amazing irony was that I had nothing on me to cut open the box. :::facepalm::: I like the Glock knives for their utility, ruggedness and price but sometimes you need a big hunk of sharp steel for getting medieval on something that needs..uhm…medievaling. Anyway…another knife I rather like for sheer brutality is the Becker Knife and Tool (BKT) series of knives. With full-tang construction, 1/4″ thick blades, and somewhat-indestructible handles, these things have been moving up on my list. I have their ‘TacTool’ which is really just a sharpened prybar with a handle…and it looks like just the ticket for getting myself out of any situation where the things standing between me and safety are things like windows, doors, debris and the like. This trip I picked up:

What can I say? Knives are like guns…no one item does it all. I figure the BK7 is sort of a GP large fixed-blade knife…enough heft for chopping things, enough length for big tasks, amd if it had a bayonet attachment it’d be right at home on the end of my AR. But, for those quiet non-zombie-filled walks in the woods during fishing, hunting or geocaching trips something with a little less weight and bulk would be nice…hence the BK2 to try out. The little BK11 was just an impulse buy. I usually carry a Benchmade folder that was a gift from one of the LMI but an EDC little sheath knife might be nice to have. Cool part is if any of these wind up not really fitting my needs I can always give ‘em away as Christmas gifts or something.