The idea behind camouflage is to make something blend in, or at least not stand out. We can agree on that, yes? That’s why I had to stop and take a picture of this:
First off, it’s a Subaru. Fine, durable cars. I still see tons of the old GL’s still on the road. But if you want to hide your Subaru you dont paint it in such a manner that makes passerby, like me, stop and take a picture. Thats, like, anti-camo. Leave it in its usual ‘Forest Green’ or something and it will blend in with the millions of other Fubarus in the organic supermarket parking lot.
There’s a time to be wearing camo and being stealthy. 10 AM in front of Ruby’s Cafe is not it. And, really,. of all the cars to butch up…a Subaru? In the body shop behind me is an old Dodge Crew Cab Power Wagon being restored. That monster is worth a camo paint job. It looks like it’ll mow down anything that gets in its way. Camo’ing up a Subaru is like putting a heavy spiked leather collar on your basset hound.
Interestingly, I do see a fair amount of vehicles with homemade camo paintjobs on ‘em. It can’t really be for hunting, since youre not supposed to hunt from vehicles and the wildlife here is pretty inured to vehicles (sometimes fatally so). Honestly, when I see vehicles with paintjobs like that I think of stereotypical redneck scraggly-bearded camo-wearing folks that give survivalists a bad name. Yes, I am succumbing to a stereotype.
Were it me, I’d just stick to a nice, even, flat-finish paintjob in something ‘coincidentally tactical’ like ‘coyote’ or a not-quite-military shade of green (‘sage’, perhaps. And when did they rename all our favorite camo patterns to these new names? We used to have desert, OD and a few other greens…now we have ‘sage’,'foliage’, ‘coyote’ and some other trendy names. WTF, man?)
And what really kills me is that you go through all the trouble of painting up mom’s old car into a camo pattern and then you leave the bright chromey door handles. Fail. Also, the skid plate is a nice touch.