I am sooooo going to get one of these:

They have them on eBay all the time. When I was a kid, all the big concrete buildings had these signs above the doorways and garageways. The idea was that back in the 50′s and 60′s, the Civil Defense office sent engineers and architects around to look for buildings that would be suitable as fallout shelters for the populace. (This was an economical alternative to building dedicated facilities.) Any place that was big enough and had enough concrete was designated a fallout shelter. One of these signs was slapped up on the side of it and it was stocked with water, sanitation supplies, food (of sorts) and sometimes even medical equipt. Naturally all that stuff has rotted away but there are intrepid urban archeologists who hunt this stuff down.

When I was in the NY public schools, every school was a fallout shelter….this was back in the 70′s and by then I remember that the garbage cans were actually old CD water storage barrels. Apparently the supplies had disintegrated to the point they were thrown out but the water barrels were still usable as garbage cans. I guarantee you, though, there are probably thousands of various pieces of old CD supplies still sitting in public garages, basements of city buildings, and in other places.

Fascinating stuff…one of the things Im going to do while Im back east is look at some of the buildings as I go by them and see if any still have the old fallout signs on them.

I refuse to make a post that is solely a stupid little quiz, so let me throw some Zero-ness out there first.

Im leaving town tomorrow for a week of R&R back east. Normally, I think of a trip back east like walking into a building burning: its gonna fall down around my ears, its inevitable, I just just hope it doesnt happen while Im there.

Things here in the Treasure State have calmed a little…the fires seem a bit less these days since I can actually *see* the mountains today. Moral of the story: any remote hideaway is going to have to be as fireproof as possible and have its own dedicated firefighting equipt.

One of the Standing Orders to the other LMI is that if the apocalypse occurs while Im out of town, they are to come by my place and take all my gear and stash it at their location for me so the rampaging hordes dont get it. I so did not spend all that money, time and planning to equip a bunch of urban mutants.

Man, I hate travelling….I loathe the idea of being a zillion miles away from my fortified little home. Getting trapped in an airport for days is the biggest concern. But, I suppose if it got really, really bad I could mug a cop, take his gun, commandeer a vehicle, and work my way to a defensible location somewhere.

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One of the interesting side-effects of being Commander Zero is that you have to learn tons of stuff. Stuff that, at times, seems exclusive to the other stuff. Things Ive had to learn so far include rappeling, knot tying, advanced first aid, CPR, camp cooking, canning, dehydrating food, purifying water, basic electronics, basic ham radio, cryptography, map reading, UTM coordinate system, bicycle repair, ammo manufacturing, improvised munitions, gardening, food preservation, butchering, principles of shortwave radio, small unit tactics, home economics, etc, etc, etc. I mean, its an endless list…. probably the biggest thing Ive had to learn is strategic thinking/planning.

Things still to learn? Welding, bulldozer/backhoe operation, more radio operations, EMT/first responder course, more electronics, carpentry, plumbing, livestock management, etc, etc.

Fortunately the internet has been very very good to me in terms of helping me find reference material. All the books Ive needed Ive been able to track down and, lemme tell you, that fills up a bookshelf pretty quick. But, as Ayn Rand said “Mans primary tool of survival is his mind”. Knowledge is power and all that….which I firmly believe. So..back to updating my Amazon wish list with books and guides and handbooks and tech manuals….

So, Commander, what did you do today to assure the safety and security of you and your merry band of LMI’s today?

Small purchases:
4″x4″ gauze pads – divided amongst the first aid kits at the shop, home and in my backpack
Bactine First Aid Wipes – divided amongst the first aid kits at the shop, home and in my backpack
Butterfly colsures – to replace a pack in my first aid kit at home that was used
Loaded an additional 50 rounds of 9mm FMJ ammo
Picked up remaindered meat to vaccuum seal and toss in the deep freeze

Total expenditures today: $13.97
Preventing a nasty scrape fronm getting infected and gangrenous in a post-apocalyptic world: priceless
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I swear, you wanna see a ‘Homeland Security’ that works and doesnt step on a single one of your rights, you put me in charge of that agency…I’ll show you security.

Sure, it has a dozen names..Rancho Ballistica, Commander Zero’s Post Nuclear Love Bunker, Area 52, etc, etc…but it all amounts to the same thing: Zero’s Dream House.

The design is completely up for grabs as long as several caveats are kept firmly in mind:
a) security
b) durability
c) efficiency
d) redundancy

Someplace with enough thermal mass to stay warm in winter, cool in summer. Completely and easily adaptable at the flip of a switch to go from grid power to self-contained power. (Not *that* big a trick…) Several layers of energy production..solar, hydro, etc. Nice big gardens, fish pond, gated driveway, enormous basement with unbelievable storage possibilities, shooting range, workshop, guest quarters, etc.

Nice thing about such a place is that the kind of land no one wants to buy is perfect for it. People want stuff close to town, close to roads, with power lines nearby, etc. Not me. I want something that you have to drive up three miles of washboard road before you even get to the (locked gate) driveway. Something that if you didnt know it was there, you’d never find. Someplace that, in winter, if you dont have seriously good four-wheel drive you will never, ever make it to.

Naturally, being the Zero, it would have thick strong walls, heavy shutters, odd markers at various distances, intrusion detection devices, area lighting, and all that goodness. But, ideally, what we’re shooting for is something that is as close to perfectly self-contained and self-sufficient as you can get. Someplace that if the power goes out you wouldnt notice it for a few months.

Whats involved? Hmmm..I think 15-20 acres abutting against national forest or timber co. land. That way you get a several million acre backyard. Build a small cabin to use as slabs and walls get poured, rafters nailed up, powers systems laid in, ponds and irrigation ditches dug, barricades poured, gardens planted, etc, etc. Wouldnt be cheap, but when it was over you’d have the perfect retreat from the world…everything you’d ever need, food, water, power, shelter, warmth, security, etc all in one place and all exactly to my specs.

And, I should point out, it wouldnt look like a missle silo. You can build some pretty darn attractive structures that dont compromise on durability and survivability. I’d love some sort of mission-style house with huge walled courtyards….

Ah well, the land will be the cheapest part. I need to get that first. Once thats under my belt, the rest can come later….